Backstage Etiquette/ Substance Recap / The Meaning of Life Finally Revealed!

Hey watch it! I'm blogging here!

There are certain moments where you have to stop, think, reckon with yourself, and come to the conclusion - I am SO blogging this >:)

As I emerge as a new, fresh girl-socialite, I must ponder many things that plague my little existence- like what do I wear to my boyfriend's show! Of course, I joke. In reality, I work a normal job that I would lose immediately if my digital footprint were to ever be revealed. Thank god for little e-pseudonyms! Thank god for AOL messenger for normalizing anonymous online identity! Yahoo Answers too, we can’t forget her.

When getting ready for Substance my friend had sent me “Rockstar GF” aesthetics on Pinterest for inspiration. I quickly realized I did not fit the mold. Deep sultry eyes covered in dark eyeshadow, cigarette dangling from pouty lips, leather, and more leather. This whole mass-yearning to become the next “It-Girl” has been coming off as pretty desperate to me. Also now it’s a bit too democratized- now any girl wearing a Shein two-piece set will claim to be an It Girl. Also, IT girls are pretty boring once you find out they’re just from rich families and actually never had to work a day in their life. I love a bootstraps It Girl. So, to me the one of the only real It Girl in recent history is Snooki from Jersey shore. Her grimy beach boardwalk style, her catchphrases, her dancing - all iconic. Also, she was studying to become a vet technician- a very noble trade. But, as I am not a busty New Jersey girl- I simply cannot copy her look. Instead, I opted for my usual “sweet child-bride” look. Other than that, I had gotten my much needed “recession-roots” done by my hairdresser/darkwave video-vixen, Brandon, before the event. Speaking of which, I can’t believe I went bleach blonde in a literal recession. Follow for more financial-ruining tips.

We entered the corridors of the Los Angeles Theatre that was adorned in plated gold walls accents, large mirrors, and even featured an indoor fountain. The interior will make you think to yourself,“Wow! this looks like the Titanic!” Which is a frame of reference that only uncultured middle class people have of art-deco decadence. I used to watch that double VHS tape to death with my cousins. I digress, truly the venue was old, beautiful, and mysterious which makes it a perfect spot for sexy goths to run around and listen to their favorite artists. My group and I did take a ton of photos with the fancy chairs.

My boyfriend had given me a Go-Pro to use at the event. Which I was surprised he bought as I was under the impression the only visual art-form he enjoyed was hours long Youtube compilations of dash-cam footage. But, it’s important to capture these events. Home movies and what not.

I needed to consider it’s basically impossible to look chill with a Go-Pro. What was I to do? Ignore it when I talk to people or point it out in a joking manner unprovoked?? Luckily for me, this is Los Angeles baby! No one batted an eye! 

Also, anytime you go to one of these events, you have to think to yourself- am I going to get drunk? Now this comes with the ultimate Sophiest’s-Choice of choices. Are you willing to endure the latent pain of coming off as a drunken fool to another person? Are you willing to wake up in the morning with the scenes of you saying something stupid replaying in your head? Anyways, I made the elegant decision to remain vaguely sober throughout the event.

I ended up making a fool of myself regardless. The illustrious Ms. Boan was backstage after my boyfriend was finished performing. I came up to her as a fan, even though I typically don’t do this because once I did this when I met Sufjan Stevens and he was really mean to me (justified though I would be mean to my 19 year-old self too). But, on the contrary, she was really nice to me! I did fumble the bag by doing a ghost impression in front of a bad bitch (in reference to a Tik Tok that was circulating about the space being haunted at the time). Unfortunately, I then just blurted out that I was there backstage because I am the gf of someone performing. Which was SO weird to say? I think I was trying to justify my presence backstage amongst talented and famous people. I, unfortunately happen to have very little swag. Most of my interaction with famous people give off the vibe of that one contest winner interviewing A$ap Rocky. But, regardless I cannot emphasize how nice Ms. Boan and everyone in the goth/postpunk/darkwave has been to me.

I sincerely love music festivals, as someone who has been attending them since about 2013 I have always loved the energy they bring and the ability to catch multiple sets in one day. I also loved the community it brings. That’s my favorite part about music, I think. You could be standing next to a total stranger and you could both be experiencing a similar emotional catharsis or unfiltered joy at any moment. I thought all music festivals were going to be a thing of the past due to the financial woes they bring to organizers. So, I am glad they are back more or less. Maybe the big Coachella-esque music festivals are dying out but niche genre-based ones have definitely sprung up. Which, I find to be more charming anyways. Notable performances from the event included French Police and Harsh Symmetry. 

Like after any event, we ended up at Footsies afterwards. At this point my salon-waves had fizzled out and I was wearing a sweatshirt over my dress which gave me a LDS runaway look. But, I really enjoyed being around everyone.After college, I truly felt lost. Like I had lost my community, I used to love going to my friends houses, going on bike rides, catching a house show, going to the coffee shop to get a croissant and a latte. But, as a college grad with a liberal arts degree I was doomed to move back to the suburbs with my parents as a means to survive. It was definitely a shock to my social and spiritual well-being- was that it? I used to question myself. Was that the most fun I was ever going to have? Is this how jocks feel after their last high school football game? But, I have found myself (even after doing a lot of city and job hopping) surrounded by a very welcoming and creative community. It’s not just musicians either. I've met people who truly have passions like Chloe with her amazing cooking, Kenzy with her amazing writing (read her blog!), or Josie with her amazing concert photography, and many more amazing people I have come across. The energy is very intoxicating and fresh to be around and that’s possibly motivated me to start blogging and making a stupid little disposable film account. With creating art, it can simply exist or not. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Don’t think about it too hard. 

I think what I am trying to say is even in your darkest flop era-est hours it’s important to remember to keep going. Life does simply work out and get better if you keep seeking it. This is not linear though- which is frustrating but with age, you learn how to roll with the punches. So keep on truckin’!

This advice is given to you from the back of a truck you see before entering the all-encompassing darkness of the Holland Tunnel to New Jersey.

xoxoxo Suburban Cutie